Posted on February 11, 2019 in Divorce

When two people get married, their financial situations change. The same is true in divorce. In Illinois, spouses who earn less money typically receive spousal maintenance (formerly known as spousal support or alimony). Here is a look at how spousal maintenance is calculated.

What Is Spousal Maintenance?

Spousal maintenance protects the individual in the marriage who makes less money and who would, therefore, be at an economic disadvantage in divorce. For example, one spouse may have stopped working to raise the family while the other maintained a high-paying career. Maintenance is meant to maintain the standard of living for both former partners. 

When the divorce process begins, spouses usually wonder how much maintenance will be paid and for how long. Spouses can reach a spousal support agreement on their own, or the court will base a determination on:

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 Posted on February 04, 2019 in Divorce

Often when people fall in love, they get married to show their commitment to their partner. It is a significant gesture and an even bigger step in a relationship. A wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, so after a divorce, it may feel hard to love and accept yourself.

There is no right or wrong way to feel during or after a divorce. Everyone has different experiences depending on the length of the marriage and if children are involved. In some cases, a divorce may be the best thing for everyone, although it may not feel that way at the time.

Even if your divorce is a mutual decision, it is still normal to feel rejected or depressed after separating from your spouse. Here are some tips to help manage your divorce emotions.

Emotional Health

Your marriage, at one time or another, was a loving and happy relationship, so it is important to allow yourself to mourn the loss. Even if you are glad to be divorcing your spouse, there may still be a void from your relationship with them. Most people, divorce or not, can benefit from therapy. Consider working out your feelings with an unbiased party who can help you channel your emotions in a positive direction.

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 Posted on January 23, 2019 in Divorce

Your adolescent child may be closer to being an adult than an infant, but your son or daughter is at a transitional time in their life when it comes to emotions and self-esteem. Teenagers may appear adjusted to the idea of their parents getting a divorce, but they often take it harder than younger siblings. 

The World Health Organization classifies an adolescent as someone between the ages of 10 and 19. There are many things a child in that age frame can worry about, from acne to getting into the right college. The pressure to do well in school, maintain a social life, and participate in extracurricular activities can be overwhelming. On top of that, from puberty onward, there are physical and emotional changes that have a significant impact on a teenager’s life. 

Telling your children that you and their other parent are getting a divorce is an intimidating task. After that conversation, it is important to keep a close eye on your older child’s emotional and physical well-being. They might not tell you they are having a tough time with the situation, but these signs will.

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 Posted on January 16, 2019 in Divorce

When getting a divorce, one issue commonly discussed is which parent a child spends time with and when in the form of a parenting plan. Parenting plans break down custody and visitation, or parenting time in regard to separated parents, from daily schedules to special circumstances like holidays. 

After a divorce, other family members such as grandparents may want to spend time with a child as well. The relationship a parent may have with the grandparents of their child can change after a divorce. A parent’s rights come first, and each state has its own legislation regarding people who are not parents of the child. In Illinois, grandparents may have the right to visit with a grandchild, depending on the circumstances, after a divorce. This is also the case for stepparents, great-grandparents, and siblings.

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 Posted on January 09, 2019 in Divorce

The topic of divorce is difficult for many couples. The relationship may have become one-sided or perhaps both spouses are unhappy. The best way to convey these feelings is to communicate about the status of your relationship, but that often does not occur until it is too late to save a marriage.

Many spouses first learn of their partner’s intention to divorce them when they are told they have already filed a Petition for a Dissolution of Marriage. This is the first step in the divorce process and your spouse is required by law to alert you that a petition has been filed with the court. Official notification by legal notice is typically mailed or delivered by a process server. In the event you cannot be located, a notice is posted in a newspaper of general circulation in your area. 

To avoid being caught off-guard, here are some signs a spouse wants a divorce:

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 Posted on January 03, 2019 in Divorce

With New Year’s and the holiday season now in the rearview mirror, children will soon go back to school. Winter break is a great time to enjoy days with your children and celebrate together. With your child being off from school for multiple weeks, hopefully your parenting plan worked sufficiently for you and your ex-spouse as you navigated the packed schedule. 

Parenting plans should be formulated during the initial divorce process. They detail when a child gets to spend time with each parent and provide instructions for situations like extracurricular activities, holidays, and day-to-day life, such as exchanges of parenting time and a child's educational needs.

There are many ways to split time between two parents when a child is off from school. With important holidays during winter break such as Christmas and New Year’s, that can alter how time with your child is organized. For example, one holiday may be spent with one parent, and then switched to the other for the next. Another way of organizing a parenting plan during your child’s winter break is to have the majority spent with one parent, and the important family holiday with the other. 

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 Posted on December 26, 2018 in Divorce

With the new year on the way, people always look for ways to improve themselves for the upcoming calendar year. Some may choose to eat better, work out more, or pick up a new hobby.

After a divorce, it often takes some time to adjust and get used to no longer being with your spouse, especially if the marriage lasted for many years, but the new year brings a fresh opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can do this at any time after the divorce, but with millions of other Americans setting goals to better themselves, you might feel inspired. If you have friends who set resolutions as well, it can be helpful to have them as your support network.

Here are some post-divorce Near Year’s resolution suggestions:

Be Kind To Yourself

It is easy to blame yourself for your divorce, but even if your actions contributed to the split, typically there is plenty of blame to go around. No relationship is perfect, so your spouse most likely had a hand in it as well. Stop blaming yourself for the divorce and think about the positives that come from it. If you and your spouse have been unhappy for a while, a divorce will eventually feel like a relief. Now you can use the time you have to better all aspects of your life.

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 Posted on December 18, 2018 in Divorce

No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year, if you are recently divorced with children, it can be difficult to let go of your ex-spouse and the times you had. Family holidays like Christmas typically increase the level of communication between you, and if this is your first holiday season after your split or divorce, planning festivities may feel like a daunting task. Your parenting plan is a great place to start. 

A parenting plan should provide a breakdown of all important holidays. School-aged children have extra time off this time of year, so your plan should reflect that in a manner that is fair to both parents. Splitting a child’s time off and allowing each parent to have either Christmas or Christmas Eve is a good way to go. 

Despite the cheer and excitement of your children, the holidays can be a lonely time for those who have recently gone through a divorce or are currently in the middle of the divorce process. Family holidays are a tough reminder that you are no longer married, and your family has split. Here are some tips for getting through the holidays:

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 Posted on December 11, 2018 in Divorce

Although it has become more common for women to keep their maiden name for personal or professional reasons, taking a spouse’s last name when you get married is still a common practice. The tradition originates from old 19th century English law, where women were required to assume their husband’s surname. Today, 20 percent of women in the United States retain their birth names, but what happens when a member of the 80 percent decides to get a divorce? 

Since the 1980s, the divorce rate in the United States has decreased. Today, for first-time marriages, it sits at around 45 percent. When divorcing your spouse, a request to change back to your maiden name should be included in your divorce petition. This only concerns a switch to your birth name. A new request should be filed if you wish to change your name to something else.

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about dropping your ex-spouse’s name following divorce:

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 Posted on December 04, 2018 in Divorce

Enlisting children in extracurricular activities builds confidence and opens doors to different interests. Participating in music, sports, or clubs as a child can create lifelong skills and passions. 

A break in the family, such as a divorce, can make life feel uncertain for your children, and create conflicts between parents. Perhaps one parent thinks the violin lessons are going nowhere, or horseback riding lessons are too expensive, while the other disagrees.

Here are some divorce tips on how to approach these activities:

Allocation of Parental Responsibilities in Illinois

Parental responsibility (formerly referred to as custody) is separated into different categories in Illinois, including education, extracurricular, medical, and religious. During the divorce, it is up to the parents to create an agreement that addresses the decision-making for these areas. Parents may decide to split up the duties, or work together on each to reach a joint consensus. If parents are unable to agree on how to proceed, it can be decided by court order.

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