Posted on November 27, 2018 in Divorce

Did you know married couples with teenage daughters are more likely to get divorced than those without? Still, it is much more than the occasional screams and door slams from a teenage girl that leads to a divorce.

Both male and female teens go through dramatic changes during those years, and divorce can turn things even more traumatic. This change may pile up on everything else they are feeling. 

Here are signs to look for that your teenage daughter is struggling with your divorce:

Low Self-Esteem 

Teenage girls in general have a reputation for having low self-esteem, but it may not stem from body image or bullying. During a divorce, they may put the blame on themselves for the split, which can add significant stress and pressure. This often transforms into behavior opposite of what one would think a person with low self-esteem would have, such as excessive bragging, doing or saying dramatic things, or bullying others. More obvious signs include avoiding common social situations, eye contact, and communication. 

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 Posted on November 16, 2018 in Divorce

Thanksgiving starts the holiday season that recently divorced couples sometimes dread. When children are involved, holidays like Thanksgiving that are family based often get complicated. While your parenting plan likely covers holidays and other special dates, that does not mean it will be an easy time emotionally. 

Cooking for a large group of people is intimidating enough. Here are some tips for surviving your first Thanksgiving after a divorce:

Always Put Children First

If you feel a little awkward this time of year because of your altered family situation, imagine what your kids feel. They may still be upset about the divorce. Ask them what they think, and try to reassure them about the holidays. Tell them their feelings are okay, do not speak poorly of the other parent, and try to put a positive spin on the situation. Divorced parents might mean two Thanksgivings for them, and twice the pie. No matter how they feel, let them know you are listening. 

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 Posted on November 09, 2018 in Divorce

Illinois is an equal distribution state, which means when assets are split between two parties in a divorce, the judge determines what is a fair division. This does not mean assets are split 50/50, however, and numerous factors are considered, including:

• Length of the marriage.
• How much each spouse makes.
• Health and age.
• Standard of living.

If the home you and your spouse lived in was marital property, one person will typically be granted the family home. This is usually the spouse who has primary residential care of any children under the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly called custody). For the other spouse, this means finding a new residence. 

Here are some tips for moving from your family and home during a divorce:

Tell Your Children

Talking to your children about your divorce can be the most difficult part of the moving process. You and your spouse should give them enough time to process the idea of one parent leaving, but not so much that they see the unpleasant parts of your split. Reassure your children that although one parent is moving out of the house, they will be loved and supported no matter what. 

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 Posted on November 05, 2018 in Divorce

When signing a prenup agreement, it may feel like divorce is the inevitable conclusion, but if a couple gets divorced without one, the parties go to court to decide the division of assets if mutual decisions cannot be made. Signing a prenup before marriage addresses many issues a couple may face if divorce occurs, as long as no one tries to break the agreement.

What is a Prenuptial Agreement? 

A prenup is an agreement two people make before they are married, which settles financial and other arrangements in case the marriage fails. A person might suggest getting a prenuptial agreement if:

• He or she makes significantly more than the other partner.
• Both are business owners or entrepreneurs.
• One person has a high amount of debt.
• They have been married before and/or have children. 

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 Posted on November 02, 2018 in Divorce

Change is once again coming to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA), and this time it is taking aim at the calculation method for spousal maintenance, formerly known as alimony. Spousal maintenance is governed by Section 504 of the IMDMA and is the contribution that one party (the “Payor”) gives to the other party (the “Payee”) based upon a calculation which is currently dependent upon the GROSS* incomes of the parties. 

In order to determine if spousal maintenance is appropriate, the court will first make a determination using the facts of the case and applying them to various factors that they deem to be relevant. If the court decides that maintenance is appropriate, they will then move forward and determine the guideline calculation.

Generally, guideline maintenance is awarded if the parties’ combined GROSS annual income is less than $500,000.00, and the Payor has no obligation to pay child support, maintenance, or both from a prior relationship.

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 Posted on October 23, 2018 in Divorce

Divorce can be a financially draining process, but it can also take an emotional toll. It takes a long time for a couple to build a life together, and no matter how many problems you and your spouse have, divorce is the end of that relationship. No matter who initiates the divorce, the emotional and physical separation is tough on both parties. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself while going through a divorce and after the divorce process has been completed: 

• Follow a Routine - Having consistency during this time of uncertainty will help you carry on. Even though your marriage is officially ending, it is important to keep living your life and participating in activities you enjoy. Do not stop going to your book club or getting drinks with friends after work on Fridays. The only thing that has changed is your relationship status. 
• Stay Healthy - If you do not already exercise regularly, now is the perfect time to start. Physical activity improves your mood and keeps your body strong. Even if it is just a walk around the block, keeping your blood flowing can help lift your spirits. Do not forget to keep feeding your body good things, too. There is nothing wrong with comfort food, but do not let cheesy and greasy foods become the majority of what you are eating. 

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 Posted on October 16, 2018 in Child Custody

When parents break up, decisions about who children will live with can often lead to highly contentious disputes. While a court is more likely to recommend joint, or shared, child custody, it is not impossible for a parent to get sole custody in the right circumstances. 

Shared vs. Sole Custody

In Illinois, custody is referred to as allocation of parental responsibility. When a parent has sole custody, the child is his or her total responsibility, and the parent will have the right to make decisions about the child’s education, medical care, religious training, and extracurricular activities. The other parent may be granted visitation rights (known as parenting time under Illinois law). 

Shared custody means that both parents will share in making decisions about how the child is raised, and the child will typically divide his or her time between parents. This split is rarely 50/50, but even if one parent has the majority of the parenting time, the parents will share responsibility for the child’s upbringing.

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 Posted on October 09, 2018 in Divorce

Sometimes, when someone chooses to get a divorce, their spouse refuses to agree to the dissolution of their marriage. This may be due to denial or an attempt to control a spouse in the case of domestic abuse, or, in some cases, the couple may have separated, and a spouse cannot be located. If your spouse is refusing to cooperate in your divorce case, you should be sure to understand your legal options.

Irreconcilable Differences

In Illinois, irreconcilable differences are the only recognized grounds for divorce. This means that the couple is not able to solve the issues in their marriage. It is considered a no-fault ground for divorce, which means that neither spouse is to blame for the deterioration of the marriage. If a couple lives separately for at least six months, this is a presumption of irreconcilable differences.  

Some common reasons a spouse may refuse to agree to a divorce include:

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 Posted on October 02, 2018 in Divorce

The leaves are starting to change colors, and now that it is October, your child is likely to be gearing up to go trick or treating this year. If you have recently gotten a divorce or are in the midst of the divorce process, holidays will be handled differently than when you were married. However, planning for successful co-parenting will ensure that your child has as good a time as they did in previous years. 

Trick or Treat?

While your child may choose to dress as Batman or their favorite Disney princess, you and your ex-partner should be completely transparent about planning family holidays. Communicating details and keeping your child out of any crossfire will allow him or her to focus on getting candy and not on dealing with mom and dad’s separation.  

If your parenting plan does not account for Halloween, it is important to communicate with your ex before the big night and make sure your plans are clear. Scrambling to make plans the night before Halloween will put unnecessary stress on everyone. 

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 Posted on September 26, 2018 in Divorce

When a married couple decides to get a divorce, their assets will be divided between them. In Illinois, this can be done between the two parties out of court, but if an agreement cannot be reached, then the court steps in with a system called equitable distribution. This system intends to divide properly fairly, but it does not mean that all assets are divided equally. Some of the factors used to determine how to divide marital property include:

• The distribution of wealth
• The length of the marriage
• The couple’s standard of living
• Future parental responsibility 
• The health, income, and age of the individuals 

With these factors, it is still important to take action before your divorce to protect yourself financially, because the outcomes of these decisions are often uncertain. 

Know Your Finances

Before the divorce process begins, it will help to learn as much as you can about your personal finances. Begin tracking how much you earn, how much you spend, and any future expenses. Start creating a budget focused around necessities such as food, shelter, and medical care for yourself and your children. Use previous statements, bank records, and records of expenses to plan for the future. All of this information will not only help you, but it can be used to demonstrate your financial needs to the court when dividing marital property. 

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